What is Love
1 Corinthians 13: 4-8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails.
A quick glance at society today and you would be forgiven if your were to conclude that love is no longer in the air . Everywhere you look and especially in the media it seems like people are struggling in their relationships and couples are going through divorce. The trust level and tolerance between males and females seem to be at an all time low and the line between lust and love has become indiscernible. Even in amongst governments and between nations it seems that the love has grown cold.
In order to re-establish the balance in relationships, at all levels, it is imperative that an understanding of love is realized.
There are four main types of love
The first type is Storge love, this the love experienced between parents and their children, brothers and sisters and best friends. It is a natural love that arises from familiarity and abstains from discrimination. While it is a common love of affection, it is not very strong and can be torn apart by jealousy and distrust. That is not to say it cannot survive minor disagreements or transcend physical barriers. It is true that a parent loves their child no matter what they look like and we all know that best friends can come in all shapes and sizes. However, i think a lot of us can testify to an experience of losing a best friend courtesy of that green-eyed monster known as jealousy. Also allied nations tied together by similar goals or interests exhibit this fragile love which can be destroyed by a moment of distrust.
The second type of love is Phileo; it is the love that exists between friends. Phileo love is not a love that naturally occurs; it must be forged through common experiences and struggles. It is the foundation for any long-lasting relationships and is essential for a lasting marriage. It is not a selfish love, but a love that satisfies the desires all groups. Phileo love is true friendship.
Eros love is the next love. It is the love of romance and attraction (and can also appear in the form of 'thirst'). Eros love is exercised most frequently today and is the love most commonly referred to (knowingly or unknowingly). It triggers strong feelings of emotion and causes people to profess their love for one another ("I love you/ I'm in love with you). This love is actually the most selfish love. People say they're in love with someone usually because of how their relationship with that special person makes them feel. The feelings of butterflys when they lock eyes or goose bumps when ever they touch are predominately based on physical attraction and sexual desire. They are most prevalent at the beginning of a marriage or when a couple begins dating. However once those initial feelings wear off there must be something else to sustain the relationship through all the trials and tribulations of life.
That is the purpose of Agape love. Agape love is unconditional love. It is a selfless love that needs no compensation or reward. This is a love of sacrifice and requires one to put the desires of someone else over their own. It is independent of physical attributes and is often undeserving. There is a common saying that actions speak louder than words. Unconditional love cannot be professed, it manifests through the actions of a person. Whether feast or famine Agape love is unwavering. Personally the gift of salvation is the greatest example of agape love I look to as a reference.
For others the ideal representation of agape love may be different, but i think it is important for everyone to have a model example to look aspire to.
One of the reasons Agape love is becoming uncommon and divorce is becoming the first option is because of the scarcity of good role models. The media plays a big role in this area. It constantly bombards the public with news of the latest celebrity couple to split or the latest sex scandal to break. It portrays love as fiery passion based on sex and desire which often lacks a solid foundation. Taking their cue from what they see on t.v or read in magazines its would not be surprising if future adopted these notions of love as their own.
Curious to hear other opinions I decided to survey some of my friends to gain an insight into what they thought love meant
Here are some of there responses:
One of my favorite responses was "Honestly bruh I have no idea. Smh. It's complicated'
It sums up the complexity of the discussion and is untainted by common stereotypes
While love may be selfless and addictive the idea of it is elusive. In my opinion true love is some combination of Phileo and Eros love with a strong dose of Agape love.
True love has so many counterfeits that do not last the test of time and is something that I firmly believe that it cannot fully be explained in any human languages.
It can only be experienced.
Disagree? Let me know what you think!
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails.
A quick glance at society today and you would be forgiven if your were to conclude that love is no longer in the air . Everywhere you look and especially in the media it seems like people are struggling in their relationships and couples are going through divorce. The trust level and tolerance between males and females seem to be at an all time low and the line between lust and love has become indiscernible. Even in amongst governments and between nations it seems that the love has grown cold.
In order to re-establish the balance in relationships, at all levels, it is imperative that an understanding of love is realized.
There are four main types of love
The first type is Storge love, this the love experienced between parents and their children, brothers and sisters and best friends. It is a natural love that arises from familiarity and abstains from discrimination. While it is a common love of affection, it is not very strong and can be torn apart by jealousy and distrust. That is not to say it cannot survive minor disagreements or transcend physical barriers. It is true that a parent loves their child no matter what they look like and we all know that best friends can come in all shapes and sizes. However, i think a lot of us can testify to an experience of losing a best friend courtesy of that green-eyed monster known as jealousy. Also allied nations tied together by similar goals or interests exhibit this fragile love which can be destroyed by a moment of distrust.
That is the purpose of Agape love. Agape love is unconditional love. It is a selfless love that needs no compensation or reward. This is a love of sacrifice and requires one to put the desires of someone else over their own. It is independent of physical attributes and is often undeserving. There is a common saying that actions speak louder than words. Unconditional love cannot be professed, it manifests through the actions of a person. Whether feast or famine Agape love is unwavering. Personally the gift of salvation is the greatest example of agape love I look to as a reference.
One of the reasons Agape love is becoming uncommon and divorce is becoming the first option is because of the scarcity of good role models. The media plays a big role in this area. It constantly bombards the public with news of the latest celebrity couple to split or the latest sex scandal to break. It portrays love as fiery passion based on sex and desire which often lacks a solid foundation. Taking their cue from what they see on t.v or read in magazines its would not be surprising if future adopted these notions of love as their own.
Curious to hear other opinions I decided to survey some of my friends to gain an insight into what they thought love meant
Here are some of there responses:
- First response was from a friend who attends the University of Arizona: Her view of love has been constantly evolving. At first she thought that love was that crush she had on the cute guy she used to chase around on the playground, after some time it became the feelings she had towards her high school boyfriend (most people call this their 'first love'). Her current opinion of what love means to her embodies a person who can help you grow and become the best person you can possibly be.
- Another response, (from another student at the UofA) compared love to a substance that is irresistible, addictive and elicits intense emotions
- From a male perspective, one response described love as a perfect dream waking up and realizing how lucky you are to have the person you are with.
- A response talented poet stated that love was far more than surface deep, she said that it involved looking into the soul and accepting someone or something flaws and all. She also touched on love for one's self. She defined it as being comfortable in one's skin, she acknowledged that none of us are perfect but by being honest with ourselves and exhibiting self-love we have a chance to transform our weaknesses to strengths.
One of my favorite responses was "Honestly bruh I have no idea. Smh. It's complicated'
It sums up the complexity of the discussion and is untainted by common stereotypes
While love may be selfless and addictive the idea of it is elusive. In my opinion true love is some combination of Phileo and Eros love with a strong dose of Agape love.
True love has so many counterfeits that do not last the test of time and is something that I firmly believe that it cannot fully be explained in any human languages.
It can only be experienced.
Disagree? Let me know what you think!
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